’ ‘It’s not that’ I thought to myself. ‘I wanted it to happen’ was what I thought and whispered it out loud unconsciously. Josh turned to...look at me then and I saw the raw need in his eyes. It wasn’t a sexual need it was just the need to feel loved and someone to care for him. I moved to sit up and look him in the eyes. ‘I did want that last night. I wanted it for a long time Josh.’ I kissed his shoulder softly and moved my face so our lips were only inches from each other. His arm encircled. When they got wet some of us guys with very dark pubic hair had a shadow down there. Of course when we got excited we had absolutely no way to conceal it. All the girls had to contend with was hard nipples because they all shaved their pubic hair off. They had learned that that was a requirement. Well it was Emily’s requirement.When the girls marched out of their changing room Emily looked at me and said, “We might just as well get this over with.”She looked at my boys and said, “Okay boys,. The General who was no longer a General in the eyes of the War Department was well-liked by the men in the lower ranks and was still a hero in the eyes of the general public that loved to have a good-looking military type to admire at a distance.In fact, there was some such similar sentiment about the scourge of the frontier, Geronimo himself because the wrinkled face and determined face of evil was strangely respected by folks with little chance of ever being hung upside down over an Apache. She couldn’t understand how so many crooks could have so little ambition. They didn’t want to learn from her, they simply wanted to be dazzled by the impossible baubles she brought in. African masks, Chinese coral sculptures, gemstones of every color of the rainbow…they gawped, when they could be studying. That was the truth, she realized. ‘Doing it for the challenge’ was a meaningless phrase. The fact was, she did want admiration. She just wanted the admiration of an equal. She wanted someone.
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